Category Archives: mothers

You’re never too grown to need your mommy

Society will have us thinking that after a certain age (IDK 18?) that to still need some mothering every once in a while is a sign of weakness. I have a GF who recently experienced a bad breakup and just spent the night at her mother’s so she could get away from her apartment and triggering reminders. Her mom packed her lunch for her that morning and I could see the light back in her eyes when she got to work.

I called my own mom last night because of some triggering emotions I was having and although I felt that awful stupid feeling of weakness doing it, I knew it was the best choice I could have ever made. I just needed to hear her voice and get the kind of wisdom from her that I can’t get anywhere else. Due to circumstances, she doesn’t live in the same state with me anymore so I try to keep up with calling her as much as I can until that changes. Our relationship has gone through it’s share if hurdles and storms but I love my mom so much and I know she loves me and knows a part of me that only a mother who loves her daughter can. There are times when I really need to reconnect and reaffirm that part. And there’s nothing wrong with that

As grown women, we may not need our mothers the way we needed them as children but there’s no shame in needing to be taken care of and mothered every once in a while. It’s not weakness or a sign of regression. It’s human. In this society, which portrays the putting out of children at a certain age as a way of proving independence and identity,  as well as shipping off of elders after a certain age as normalcy, the efforts of mothers and daughters to maintain a loving and understanding relationship with healthy boundaries potentially helps to ensure a better future for generations.


Sunday Morning in Bed with Two Geminis


“I know you’re happy, cause I can see it

So tell the voice inside your head to believe it.”

Yesterday, one of my friends posted the story about Kanye fans not knowing who Kanye West is. I didn’t bother to read it but I thought my friends’ own written byline, “This is why we can’t have nice things.” Was hilarious.

This morning I discovered by chance that the story was the result of a song the two recently collaborated on together. I went to my itunes app just to see what was new and saw a photo of Kanye and McCartney representing a new single, “Only One.” I had a happy flip out, listened to a sample and then bought it.

I knew nothing about the song but I knew it was sung from the spirit of his mother the minute he began to sing. She is his heart. Tears came to my eyes as I listened and felt every word coming from a divine place. Later on, reading that his daughter was sitting on his lap when the words came to him was just the most incredible way to start off a rainy Sunday in a new apartment I could think of. Especially after talking with my own mother, an incredible woman I love, for hours last night.

So much about this collaboration is huge. The generosity of a music giant to fall back and support this Black Genius while he channels the spirit if his beloved mother while his beloved baby daughter sits on his lap. It’s just…beyond. The amount of trust that requires is just so deeply moving to me, so fragile and strong at the same time. Okay, I’m getting emotional again. Like I’m just overwhelmed with feelings I cannot put into words here which means that I might have to get a bit abstract and write a poem about it over on eternalista.

This is what I love about music! Its ability to mend, to build, to bring together, to heal and to channel the divine is just…hope giving. It’s magical, spiritual, miraculous and political all at once!

Geminis like to have their fingers in a lot of pots at the same time. As a typical Gemini sun, Gemini rising, I know this first hand. Sometimes it wears us thin and fizzles out, and sometimes it produces something unforgettable. But I’m starting to learn that what’s important is focusing on the process living a creative life, if you so choose and not the outcome. Dedication to the process ensures the outcome will always be what it should. Success has a multitude of faces.

Kanye and his mother are still together, still collaborating all the time. He’s always felt this. I feel it as well. Kanye’s fearless sharing through art is always an inspiration.