“In order to have new views of life you have to have new conversations. Then you take new actions. And then you get a new result.”

-D. Cunninham

#landmark

Yup.

I did it.

I went to a Landmark forum meeting. Like many people I’ve heard of and known a few people who have done Landmark and have given it the shady side-eye for a series of reasons.

-You did Landmark and you’re still not happy. Why?

-It has to be a racket

-It sounds cultish and sketchy

-Ummm…don’t tell me what to do.

A friend of mine, a really lovely lady who I like a lot invited me and it just so happened that it was time. I’ve been seeking so I heard the call. I practice having an open heart and being aware and conscious of my cynicism and self imposed blockages. This was free. Why not? So what ended up happening was that I connected with people on an authentic and vulnerable level. That’s not a small thing. It never is.

The last time I was at a meeting like this was the Kamaria circle my dear friend at soulsistah4real invited me to be apart of. Again I was invited by friends who were graduates of the program because they know something about me and they see that I need some structure, development, discipline and breakthrough to get my whole life together. They love me. The Kamaria circle is Black woman centered and about developing leadership skills in women of the diaspora. I went to my friends graduation from the Kamaria circle last year and it was amazing to see the transformations and the seeds that had begun to flower from the work Black women were doing there. And I was still scared. I was afraid I was not up to the task of making a deeper commitment to myself. That sounds crazy just reading that. Scared to make a deeper commitment to myself. But I get it.

Last night at Landmark I was gently encouraged by a graduate who was sitting next to me (I got there right on time but to late to meet my friend who I spotted sitting further up in a different row) to go up to one of the mics set up next to stage where the speaker had invited guests to come and share with the audience. When the opportunity presented itself I raised my hand and was called up with one other guest. And I shared. I shared what I was working on about myself and challenges and realizations and gratitude for having been invited. And it felt good.

And afterwards several people came to me to thank me for what I said and all I could do was say thank you to them for being there and that I was so glad that received whatever they needed from what I said. I can’t tell you how good that felt, to be able to give something to people just by being my authentic self. So simple and yet so powerful.

My heart is still spinning. It was like a natural high…