My husband watches quite a lot of wildlife and nature programs. Because of him I have learned to love “The Dog Whisperer,” a show would never have watched otherwise. What Cesar Milan really does is teach people about themselves and the ways in which much of their dogs’ behavior really reflects the owner. My husband loves dogs but I would also say that he has a deep appreciation and love of all animals and has since he was a child.  He learns a lot from them, things I am always surprised and impressed by.

Last night I walked into the living room while he was watching  a program where two large male bears were locked into a palpably intense physical battle. I stopped and stared at the screen. It was hard not to be drawn into the such a dramatic and urgent looking struggle

“That looks intense.” I said

“It is.” Says my husband. “It’s a battle for the right to fornicate.”

So naturally I’m hooked right?

“A battle to the death.”

The camera cuts to the one lone female they’re both fighting to mate with chewing grass. After one of the males walks off frustrated, the other one who is now the victor guards the female for several weeks because she’s not yet “in season.”

“See,” says my husband. “Even in the wild they don’t just run up and grab the pussy.”

I’m dead.

Dead.

How could we live without men, without males, without the male species?

I couldn’t. I wouldn’t want to.