Why don’t we marvel at our own passing time on earth with the same joy and passion? Why do we neglect to revel in life when it can end at any moment, or in the grace surrounding us everywhere: our family, friends, a stranger’s smile, a child’s laugh, new flavours on our plate or the scent of green grass? It is time, cherry blossoms remind us, to pay attention.
This Saturday morning I left my apartment to help my husband with groceries in the car. He gave me all he thought I could handle before driving off to do the stressful work of finding parking. I hauled two shopping bags up to the top of the steps in front of our building. And then I put everything down and decided to hang out for bit. It was only time I would be out that day. I just wanted to take in some fresh air, take in a few deep breaths and stare at the courtyard.
We live in a complex with six building in all. There are at least 3-4 beautiful trees in the courtyard which I have paid very close attention to since this pandemic sent us all to our rooms. I look at them to see how they are blooming, to feel the hope of new growth and to enjoy their beauty. Two of them are already in full bloom with tiny white sprigs of cheerful white flowers.
Directly across from our building is the one Cheery blossom tree in the courtyard. I look at it a lot around this time to see if the blooms look like they might be peeping through but they still look very tiny, dark and uninterested. I can’t look at a fully blooming Cherry tree and not feel joy. I also love how even after the blooms begin to expire, the petals rain down on everything under the tree quietly laying a magical carpet of heavenly pink. I look forward to this. I resist the urge every season to step over the hedge boundaries and just lay in Cherry blossom petals.
I’m standing there in the courtyard breathing deeply and think all this and more and then I start crying. I tried not feel bad about it. No one else is in the courtyard but me. I realize the privilege of having trees in the courtyard where I live. I wonder who planted the trees and why they chose them. I am grateful to have them so close by. Then I took the groceries upstairs.