Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Joy of Decluttering

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“It must be so wonderful to have a home filled only with things that bring you joy.” 

Kondo grasped Goodman’s hand and looked her seriously in the eye.

“You can do it,” she said.

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I haven’t made any grand statements or official announcements as yet but for me, November is the Decluttering month. I have experienced far too much relief and lightness getting rid of stuff in October to stop now. I get a quiet and deeply satisfying feeling whenever I let go of material things that no longer serve me because it is symbolic of letting go of dormant unneeded energy and best of all, so very best of all, it’s something any of us can do at almost any time we decide to.

Most of the time we focus on what we don’t have and what things would fullfill us if only we could aquire them. We obsess over that wonderful feeling of having something new.  I do it all the time. I’ve done it for years/ But I’ve found lately that the closer I get to aquiring the material things I think I want, they quickly reveal themselves as unneccsary, clogging, pretty little cogs that temporarily compensate for something deeper. So I’ve been trying something different lately.

I’ve been spending my money more strategically only on things that I need and love. I’ve also been spending time looking at what I have.That is a journey in itself. I can only imagine that the things I need to give up which are hidden in closets and storage bins since the move, make up about three times as much as what I can actually see all around our apartment. I’ve been steadily getting rid of things in piles, taking coats and dressed to Housing Works, since we no longer live close to a Salvation Army that I know of. But I’ll be kicking it into slightly higher gear this month. The idea of being surrounded only by items that spark joy, a concept I became familair with through Nate Berkus’ work is something I find very appealing.

The process of moving from our Harlem apartment to the one we presently inhabit in Inwood was so traumatic for me that there were decisions I made with regard to accumalation that I stick to very strictly. There are still things we have from the old apartment in boxes that have not been unpacked yet and honestly I’m not sure they need to ever be used again and with the exception of one digital camera that hasn’t been recovered yet we haven’t been missing these hidden items since we moved here. So while I am daunted by the task of going through all this stuff, I look forward to being mindful that the tiny bits of nostalgia and my own ephemeral obsessions are no reason to hold on to things that do not spark joy for me in the present moment.

My night stand is one of my favorite personal spaces becauses it always has the same amount of objects on it, only objects that inspire me, that I like to look at, that are there for very specfic reasons to invoke a specific energy. I maintain it carefully because I know how easy it is for table and dresser tops to become dumping grounds. I derive pleasure from keeping it clear of clutter. It’s hard to explain this concept to my husband who is very neat in some ways (his undergarments draw is a study in borderline OCD) and not so much in others. I feel like men manage the issue of clutter in a different way. But I have it my way, all manner of dissarray will fall under my decluttering powers. LOL!

Imagine that you could live in a home filled only with things that bring you joy. Who wouldn’t want that?

It’s on. This month I am channeling my inner Decluttering Goddess.

Urban Eve’s Astrological Elements Breakdown

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Sometimes I can tell after speaking briefly with someone I’ve just met what their astrological sign is, but that’s only because I’ve spent so much of my life studying sun sign profiles and cross referencing with my personal experiences relating to the different signs. If I can’t guess the exact sign of the person, I can usually narrow it down to the element of the sign. 

Fire

Fire can be warm and inviting, insulating and energy giving when it’s calm and focused but at it’s worst fire flies out of control eating up everything in it’s way. And sometimes absolute destruction is a necessity in order to start anew.

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Air is the thing that surrounds us on this planet daily. If we don’t get enough of it into our lungs we die. But it is rarely something that shows itself unless it’s creating motion in an object ruled by gravity. Because it is invisible, it’s power is often underrated. Air, like water is an element that moves objects as well as moves through and around them. Air acts as a bridge sometimes between the spirit realm and the physical world.  It is restless, mischievous, playful, and cannot be easily contained.

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Earth is literally like…earth, soil, dirt, foundation so it makes up large part of our planet. It is all out there, baring all, grounding all, giving life to all. It is exposed, vulnerable and yet deeply resilient. Earth basically provides so much of a foundation for its ecosystem that is literally holding us all down. It’s greatest joy is to provide the most optimal conditions to allow all life to co-exist peacefully. But if you fuck with it….you will never forget the backlash.

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Water like air, moves in, around and sometimes through things. But unlike air, which requires a great amount of pressure to manifest force, water pushes and moves things very easily. It also fills without boundary. It knows no boundaries. Its intention is to spread, to seep into, to surround, ultimately to either fill or merge with anything it comes in contact with. Like earth, it also makes up a large percentage of our planet and our bodies as human beings. Water is sacred, life giving, baptismal, cleansing and highly sensitive to touch.

Black is the New Ooh Lala!!

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This week, SoulSistah4real put me on to Mala Bryan, a International Model from St. Lucia. who is putting out a line of Black fashion dolls with a range of skin tones and hair textures due out in November! As a doll collector myself, I nearly fainted when I read about her and saw her line of beautiful dolls! I love them and I love that there is also a crazy doll lady in South Africa who takes photos of her dolls in public! LOL! These are definitely going on my Holiday list for lucky little brown girls and for one big brown girl in particular.

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And just now as I was scrolling through the 30 Black Woman Owned Online stores to Shop this Holiday Season, I discovered Nicholle Kobi, a cool black illustrator from Kinshasa, based in France whose prints show a France filled with colorful Black woman of all sizes who like to live life to the fullest, work, play, make love, have families, eat and shop with friends and have stimulating gatherings and conversations  on window sills at midnight. It’s all so darn cool and effortless looking!

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It’s so much fun is to be able to look at a thematic range of images depicting woman of color and seeing so many different varieties doing so many things, so many different moods and occasions! Her pinterest page goes on forever!  I would love to see these prints on shopping bags, magazines,  stationary, holiday and greeting carda, invitations and more! Hmmmm…I may need to commission Miss Kobi.

Black by Design

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When I travel both literally in the world and virtually on the internet for any number of reasons, I will (not always) but often look for where the Black people are. In some cases this is as easy as a google search for a profile picture or an inquiry with a reference. However many of our introductions to businesses especially online platforms, are not represented by faces but by logos and if you’ve never thought about the ways in which a logo can infer, embrace, promote, negate or deflect attention away from race, nationality, or culture, you should.

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I’ve decided recently that it’s time for me to establish my presence online as a photographer (I began my journey as a photographer in 2007) and began creating a logo this week that I felt might not only state the name of my business but also send out a message to Black patrons that I am in fact also Black and a woman.

Personally, as a Black woman, I simple do not trust (and am trusting less and less) certain aspects of my life to service providers who are not either Black or of the Diaspora. I try to support Black owned online and offline businesses by buying jewelry, apparel, and hair care products (though I admit I could do better) made for and by actual Black people. How else can there ever be community and wealth building among us? And because we live in a white washed world, it is often the case that we assume most creators, artists and or owners behind logos which do not indicate otherwise are White until proven Black.

There have been a number of experiences where I have been drawn to a product or service that I perceived as indicating Blackness or Diasporic hands behind the scenes only to discover White appropriation pulling the strings. Because as you know, it’s really cool and trendy to be “Black-like” these days. But when I find a Black designer is actually the person behind a Black design I’m ecstatic! Because hopefully it’s more than just a ploy to be cool and trendy and is coming from someone who is truly connected to the culture represented in an authentic way. I seek Black businesses and services in my life, in all it’s broad manifestations, not to be merely a vacation spot for modern day colonizers and tourists but a staycation mind state for those of us who proudly claim Blackness and Africaness to revel, create, love, network, heal, educate and live in!

That being said, I am in no way suggesting that people of color who create products and run businesses should be required to identify their Diaspora Heritage to possible clients through their logos and advertisements. However, creating a logo with elements that reflect my pride is something that is important for me. Because contrary to the rampant and problematic color blindness of many White liberal progressives, nationalities  of the Diaspora (which are relegated only to Race in America do not carry a common understanding and experience that translate outside of what is represented beyond the skin. America demonstrates this fact on a daily basis.  In other words, the saying “This is a Black Thing. You wouldn’t Understand” that was made popular by certain Black owned accessory lines in the 90s is now becoming “It’s a Black thing and we don’t care whether you understand or not because we need to understand, support and love ourselves and one another first.” It is precisely because of the systematic racism of White supremacy that is has always been necessary for people of color to identify ourselves to each other symbolically if not literally as a way of creating community in a world that has attempted to decimate our connection with one another and our love of ourselves. Because Blackness has always been beautiful inside and out! In fact, it’s dope as shit!

 That’s how I went from this:

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To this:

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And this:

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The name Zanography is a combination of my online handle Zanalee (It’s the name of a Prince song that is very similar to my real name) with the word photography which if you didn’t know is latin for “writing or drawing with light.”

I’ve been fascinated for years with logo design, and it’s ability communicate a service as well as a subliminal representation of who is behind it to a particular audience. I’m nowhere near finished with my logo as yet but this is a good beginning for me with regard to incorporating a part of who I am into a symbol that will hopefully let my target audience feel welcomed, valued and appreciated.

Whose Paradise?

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The creator keeps coming back as a child because it has the mind of a child. The creator is still learning.

-Dr. Phil Valentine

Ever hear of the idea that the creator is experiencing itself through us infinitely or that it was of absolute necessity that humanity and it’s “world” be created in order that the creator should know itself? Because you cannot know yourself if you alone exist. You would not know you existed if there was nothing and no one outside yourself with which to recognize or mirror opposition. Maybe this is something like what we experience in the womb. We are surrounded by darkness, yet we do not know what darkness is because we have never seen light. What is that world of not knowing opposition or duality or consciousness? What is that state?

It’s where we come from. It’s where we return to. And in the middle, the experiencer learns and learns and learns and learns again until it knows.

How much learning do we have to do before we know?

I’ve asked myself that question a lot lately.

How much learning do I have do before I know?

Dr. Phil Valentine talks about the Garden of Eden as a death state. Yeah, a state of death.

Look, my mind was blown too! I’ve never heard the Garden of Eden referred to in this way. Every representation of Eden that we are exposed to is one of paradise and a state of total bliss. I named this blog Urban Eve after watching a documentary about the first human, an African woman, from whom all humanity sprung. I see her as The Real Eve, not the Eve from the Biblical allegory. Yet, still, like most good conditioned American born humans raised on the Bible, that allegory still clings to my imagination like a weed. It is powerfully influential like all good programming. And it is not without importance.

If Eve was the one to eat the forbidden apple then it was she who saved humanity from the state of death which we have been conditioned to think of as paradise.

Think about it.

What is paradise to you? What is happiness to you? Just the fact that Eden terminology is so deeply indoctrinated in us as a definition of “paradise” lets us know that it’s not actually our own definition of paradise. What is yours? Not what was given to you, but the actual reality of bliss and happiness for you?

What if the fall from paradise was a birth into knowing that from which we emerged?

What could the allegorical Adam and Eve understand about the nature of “Eden” if they had never experienced its opposite? How do we recognize we’re in darkness if we’ve never seen the light?

People of color navigate through a sea of racism and White oppression and violence on a daily basis, often without even knowing it. We wade in it’s waters and often don’t know that we are soaking wet, that we are drowning because so many of us have been made to believe that this drowning is the definition of life. I have to stay vigilantly aware that the idea of paradise or the American Dream that was given to me by those who wish to destroy me is not a paradise at all, but a construct for my mind.

If nakedness, warmth, lush vegetation and seemingly limitless natural resources was really recognized by White people as paradise then why have they committed genocide upon nearly every indigenous peoples they found in these paradisiacal surroundings as well as mass eco-terrorism throughout the planet replacing the true Eden with stories, words, ideas, currency? Everywhere they went preaching paradise in heaven there has been blood.

So what is paradise really?

I’m still learning…

So now, what-is-paradise really?

That’s one I really have to think about. I’ve never thought about it quite like this before.

He Kneads Me

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Around 2:00AM I get out of bed ot pee. My husband is still asleep. But guess who is not?

Our kitten Jet.

Not only is he up but he’s purring like crazy and is pawing my leg. I, half awake, go take of business, come back out and pick him up because I know if I go back to bed and close the door when I’m done he’ll be at the door mewing. This has been happening more often lately.

I pick him up in my arms and walk over to the sofa which he has basically claimed and hold him while he touches my face with his cold nose, paws my face lightly and kneads into my arm, thankfully with minumal claw bearing. I’ve read that cats do this instinctivley as a way to express comfort and familiarity. It’s something they do when they nurse in order to stimulate their mother’s nipples. It makes me feel very special, like we’re bonding. I know cats are nocturnal but for the life of me I’m still always surprised to see him up so early. It occurs to me to be annoyed but I know he’s just a kitten and doesn’t understand our sleep cycle.

Plus, I like feeling kneaded. It quickly outweighs my slight annoyance.

Heehee…

I guess I can always sleep on the weekend.

Supporting Black Owned Businesses Saturday

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A few weeks ago, Soulsistah4real invited me to partake in all Black and African owned businesses Saturday starting with a visit to Zuvaa’s pop up shop on the Lower East Side. Even though my wardrobe budget was not on fleek this weekend I was super excited!  I bought a pair of beautiful fabric wrapped bracelets and enjoyed being surrounded by amazing handmade collections, women of color bustling around me and searching through racks exploding with color and creativity. I’ve always loved fashion and it’s a treat to be able to see fashions handmade in Africa up close. The textures, the fabric choices, the way garments are cut are all of interest to me.

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As we waited for the pop up shop to open that morning, an interesting conversation rose outside among us at the front of the line about sewing our own clothes. Some of us have mothers who sewed all the time and never showed us, or like me, had mothers who tried and we resisted it. There was talk about passing this important craft on to the youth, as well as the knowledge of braiding and styling our children’s natural hair. These are conversations I love to witness and be a part of. They are important conversations that don’t always occur to me unless I’m in communal space with women of color.

Curly Dew After the Pop up Shop, we headed over to Vivrant Beauty, a new Beauty Supply shop in Harlem which sells products for hair, make-up, nails and skin that are made for and by women of color. Khalilah and I both sampled nail polish colors by Mischo which is owned by Kitiya Mischo King before making our purchases and vowing to return. I bought this amazing smelling shampoo by Soultanicals which I cannot wait to use this week. It’s called “Curly Dew Earthy Poo.” LOL! Looking at their site, I discovered that many of their products are named in this whimsical rhyming way that I get such a kick out of reading out loud.

We walked out of Vivrant looking for a nice restaurant and literally ran into Angel of Harlem bar and restaurant right around the corner. We got a table for two outside across from the Harriet Tubman statue, ordered brunch, talked Mercury Retrograde shop with two sisters bunching nearby and discussed making time for a day like this at least once a month!

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We wrapped up our day in Brooklyn at the Zodiac Lounge, getting readings and kicking it New Ancient Bougie Black Girl Style. I predict that these outings will happen more often among us as Afrikan people in a move towards creatimg community, shifting conciousness, self love and awakening to our true purpose and power as we remember whom and whose we our.

Cultivating Safety

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Maybe it’s just because I’ve had such a laid back Labor Weekend, but lately when I’ve thought about or jotted down blog ideas, I can’t manage to complete any of then because they’ve all been about contentious issues, like systemic racism, sexism and hatred. And I’ve just been feeling so relaxed that these subjects start to lose steam for me within a few paragraphs. I just don’t feel like being angry right now. I really don’t ever want to be angry and sometimes it seems as if the world feeds on reactionary anger to the point where you feel like and idiot if you’re not anxious, angry and bent our of shape about something…

Especially if you’re Black.

And a woman.

I am both, and at the present moment I just don’t feel thinking about all the ways in which my very existence is a threat to a psychopathic, blood-thirsty White ruling class. I’m on a break. God knows all that shit will still be there when get back to it.

I’ve been busy at home, cultivating a sense of safety with my partner. making our home more homey, not just with things but with actions. I’m not sure safety is something that really exists anywhere except for as a feeling created by actions. ADT doesn’t actually provide safety if you know what I mean. The definition of a sense of safety is different for everyone. Some people feel safe when there stuff is safe, their valuables, there money, their property, capital etc. Some people feel safe when they can lay open their hearts without fear. Some people feel safe when they are comfortable in their own skin and allowed to be all that they are around those whom they care about the most.

I was privileged to have the kind of childhood where I felt incredibly safe the majority of the time. And I always cherish the memory of that feeling and understand how blessed I am to have felt it. You can’t buy that feeling, the sense that no matter what happens outside of your home with anyone outside of your family, when you come home, you’re coming home to peace, to ease, to a place where you can heal and recharge.

I felt that way when I first met my husband. That’s how I knew he was family. And recently since adding out little mammalian son to the family, I’ve begun to have that feeling again; a sense of comfort from a simple, loving routine that has grown from co-caring for an intelligent little living thing. Providing a sense of safety and comfort is deeply fulfilling. And I can’t focus on that and anger at the same time. The two simply cannot occupy the same space.

I am growing more aware though about whom I want to allow in the circle of safety and those whom I want to remain at a distance.

I don’t have time or energy to be a “We are The World” woman all the time anymore. Some of us are the world. Some of us just predisposed to destroy it.

And yeah…

more on that unfortunate fact later.

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Time Stopping Thursdays: Sperm to Fetus Video

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If you like big budget adventure movies with unforgettable and iconic, emotionally manipulative scores you will love “Sperm to Fetus in 3D!” LOL!!

But seriously though, I was home this weekend on a Sunday evening after cleaning, eating dinner and winding down when I decided I needed to see scientific visual graphics of the journey of sperm to the egg. I had no idea that I was going to be watching “The Lord of the Rings” version of human egg fertilization on acid.

That being said, I was blown away. Much as I tried to be judgmental of the obnoxious over the top score, when the one sperm pierces through the egg I felt like getting up and doing a one-person wave. I mean it only takes one. Just one! And here we all are!

Yeah, I was feeling very present in that moment.

How miraculous we all are.

If only we all knew it.

Dropping into my Heart

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Let go of all sense of not being in your heart. The thought of a problem can become the problem. Ask yourself “If I knew what I might notice were I to listen to my heart, regardless of what anyone else might suggest, what methods of dropping into my heart might I discover?

I get emotional plenty. I cry in reaction to movies, books, babies, people I care about…orgasms. But I’m not always comfortable about all that. In a culture where intellect and smarts and thought processes are basically taught to us as the thing that will get us more money, power, position, attention and love, the heart is really only focused upon as a marketing tool, particularly on Valentines Day. But actually using our hearts is pretty foreign and largely marginalized  and looked down upon in our society, in much the same way as being feminine, soft, yielding, giving and vulnerable is attributed to weakness.

It’s hard to let go of primarily brain centered living when the whole of society tells you, you have to use your head to get ahead and people will take advantage of you if you “wear you heart on your sleeve.” However when it’s convenient, who are the people we turn to first when we are wounded and need to be held and loved and soothed and made to feel better? Usually some pretty heart centered people. Not the cold, distant, detached, aloof people. And I’m not ashamed to say that on occasion I have appeared to be or behaved as if I was one of those cold people but not because it’s who I really am. No one is really like that. We learn to be that way. We learn a lot of incorrect behavior on our journey towards becoming who are.

Thinking only when it’s necessary and feeling or dropping into my heart the rest of the time hasn’t been easy. This is going to sound weird but the kitten has really helped me with that. He’s all action. He likes to hunt, play, eat, sleep and be held. Simple. The moment I first picked him up out of his cage I also experienced something very simple, the joy of being needed in a way that for the first time did not feel like a burden. In fact the more I take care of the kitten, the fuller I feel. I’m really fighting the urge to say ewwww right now. Or I guess I should say, my ego is.

But honestly, my husband and I have the most fun watching him do really simple stuff, like dive at and chase cat toys, discover new ways to get to high pieces of furniture and sleep with the kind of abandon that we can only assume means he feels safe. I can only imangine that if we all felt that safe, not so much in our surroundings but in our own hearts and souls, life might not seem so scary. There’s no way to really be safe in your head because its meant to fluctuate to your detriment by design. So much of what goes on there is just the ego’s way of asserting it’s identification as you. And we are easily conditioned to believe that intuitive heart space is misleading, unreal, risky and unsafe instead of the other way around. There’s no balance, no cooperation. The head has been oppressively manipulative and monopolizing for so long. As a result we have faster, slicker, high functioning, specialized toys, degrees, positions, corporations and more with which to create and share information, to control and to commodify but not nearly enough regard for the feelings we have about our successes or lack thereof in order to address the accompanying emptiness.

All I’ve been doing after work for the past week and an a half is coming home, hanging out with my husband, cleaning, taking care of the cat and generally taking it easy. No lofty ambitious goals there. Very little anxiety either. Domestic contentment. It’s one of my new definitions of success.

Stay tuned for more. : )