On Labor Day I walked down a few long blocks on the street where I live to the Boathouse near Inwood Hill Park. My husband took me there for the first time a few weeks ago and I just loved it. I knew this was going to be my new unplugging hangout. As soon as I arrive and walk down to the Boathouse dock I look out at the Hudson River and I just breath deeper. And the energy around everyone there, couples, loners, kids is just slower, calmer.

I sat on one of the benches in front of the water with my eyes closed. I was there hoping to to catch another incredible sunset like the one I saw when I came with my husband. On the bench to the right of me was a couple with a little baby girl. Just yards in front of me on a bench closer to the rocky shore was a couple, a young girl with her head on her boyfriends shoulder. To my far left I could see a young boy who had climbed out onto the rocks and was skipping rocks on the water. I closed my eyes again and felt a soft breeze roll over me. There was a scent on the air that I couldn’t identify right away. Was it herb? No, Sage. Someone was burning sweet sage. When I opened my eyes I saw that a woman who had walked over from the left entrance was sitting on the rocks with her back to me. She had burned some sage and lifted it up high above her head and turned, facing East, West, North and South before sitting down again to meditate. The smell of sage burning in the open air smelled wonderful. I was thankful for it.

I watched the woman and thought about my how my mother used to send my brother and I to her friends home in Harlem to gather with other children our age to learn about Black history, to watch educational films and to sit in healing circles where we passed around a smudging stick made of Sage. My mom burned a lot of Frankincense and Myrrh while I was growing up and she also dressed her candles with scented oils and glitter. I can remember smelling them and gazing at the glitter floating around in the wax. I didn’t know what it all meant. It was all regular beauty to me. These practices were part of ancient ritual cleansings and prayers for peace, love, abundance and manifestation of personal dreams through visualization in meditation.

This is the third time I’ve seen a woman in a public park doing a ritual by the water, praying, singing, meditating. There’s something healing about the water that we recognize intrinsically as women. It has a power we feel deeply connected to. At least I do. I always have. I tried to imagine a time when I would ever come out to the water alone to bless the space around me and praise the elements before I prayed. I don’t know. I think I’d like to do it in a guided meditation with other women. Seeing these women inspired me to think more about organizing a circle like that in my new hangout space.

I hope that all of their prayers and wishes come to pass.

Apple Cider Vinegar is the main ingredient in my nightly facial toner.

By now you must know that ACV has varying healing, cleansing and balancing properties for your skin. Until a few months ago I’d always heard but never known it for myself until I started using it myself. I saw the difference right away. Spots on my skin have started to fade, my skin feels tighter and smoother.

APPLE CIDER VINEGAR!!!

You know how long I keep a bottle of AVC in my kitchen?

MONTHS.

Over a year.

It lasts forever. It’s strong stuff so a little goes a long way since it’s always advised to dilute when taking internally or applying to skin.

I will never buy toner or toner like products again.

Every night I wash my make-up off, cleanse with Witch Hazel and dab on a mixture of ACV, water and a few drops of tea tree oil. My skin creates it’s own oil so I don’t feel the need to moisturize before bed, only in the morning before I put on make-up. I look forward to this nightly ritual, of patting my face with cotton ball, knowing that the ACV is working it’s antibacterial, anti-fungal magic during the night.

Products that have a multitude of uses like ACV, coconut oil and Dr Bronners Soap are the shit to me. Like I’m really trying to focus on investing in  products that you can do at least two or more things with. If I’m buying make-up I love for it to be something I can use on my face, eyes and lips. Not only does it save money but it also appeals to the child in me that still loves to play with my food or taste what I put on my face or wash my hair with. LOL!

The past few weeks at my job, I have elected to take a 15 minute break that I’ve been allowed to take since I started working here full time in 2006. I don’t know why I never elected to take it before. But in any case, during a meeting I had with my supervisor about my time, I decided I would take my 15 minute break every day at noon.

So the in the past week or so, everyday at noon I go outside. I walk. I breath in the fresh air. I look up at the sky and the clouds and I feel grateful to be outside. Often, will run an errand nearby, drop in at Sephora, shoot an Instagram story, maybe buy a snack but really, I just enjoy being outdoors, even if it is just in the city. It makes me appreciate life more and it makes the work day itself go by a little faster, a little smoother.

There is so much to be thankful for, to love and appreciate and most of the day all I hear is complaining. I need to be in a space with people who want to rejoice, to celebrate, to love and to speak about what they love and why. What’s good? What’s great? Despite everything! Lets talk about the deeper meaning behind what it means to love the life you live or to be working towards it.

I just decided today after my 15 minute break that I’m using this weekend to really declutter our apartment. We’ve been there two years and still have not gotten rid of stuff we brought over from the old apartment! I’m already imagining how amazing it will be to move to our next, bigger even more wonderful space, taking only things we need because we’ve already gotten rid of everything we don’t! I mean this is doable! So I’m doing it! I’m so excited! Because I can feel it day by day when stuff is starting to pile up around me, when I buy things and then immediately forget I bought them, when I can’t remember where that thing I liked so much disappeared to or when I’m holding on to empty containers of things I know I should get rid of but I don’t.

Why do we do this?

It’s a symptom of something deeper and unresolved and the more I search and study ways to achieve peace and center, to manifest vision, the more I realize that life is actually a lot simpler than we make it, particularly if you know what you want. And the closer I get to knowing what I want the more I seek to make it as simple as possible.

Cat lovers gather around.

I’m only writing about this because I love my cat and this experience, unlike the one I vaguely recall about washing our family cat when I was a girl, was pretty freaking traumatic. I am so glad that my husband and I worked as a team on this because otherwise it would never have happened. And it needed to happen at least once.

I really hate doing things for my cat that stress him out or make him feel threatened. I only clean his paws whenever he used the litter box because of my husband. We never did that with my family cat. Cats are the cleanest animals ever. They spend like half the day cleaning themselves and sleeping. But I do it for my husband. I do it even when he’s not around. It’s our agreement.

So Thursday afternoon we’re in the bathroom filling a basin with water and using another plastic container to scoop water and generally prepping ourselves and the area while Jet stands on top of the toilet lid looking at us like, what is about to happen here? I Know you don’t think I’m getting in that right? Do you? Wait, what the hell?

And we’re all it’s okay, it’ll be all right. We got this special cat shampoo at Target formulated for sensitive cat skin by JP Mitchell himself!

Cat’s for the most part do not like being submerged in water. They’re curious about it, play with it a bit, drink it but they give no fucks about your external cleaning products and want no parts of it.

We barely lowered Jet into the basin of medium temperature water before he panicked, scrambled up the front of my husbands torso and was held there by him for the next harrowing 20 minutes or so.

There was blood.

I got a few nicks on my left hand but I barely paid attention to that. I accepted I would get scratched when we first adopted Jet. I don’t take it personally. However I was worried about my husband whom Jet was digging his claws into because of sheer horror. But my husband who loves the cat as much as I do was very very calm and instructed me to continue pouring water on our traumatized cat and to shampoo and rinse him. I looked in Jets eyes and it literally looked as if he wanted to leave his body. It was so painful for me to see that. I ran and got him some treats to eat to distract him and hopefully to give him something positive to focus on. I could see him struggling to make choices but he did eat all the treats. I kept asking my husband if he was okay, if his back was okay, because I could see the holes in his t-shirt. I was worried for both of them.

When it was over we still had to towel him off a bit because you’re not supposed to let newly washed pets walk around sopping wet. That was a little easier because we were able to let him down and he didn’t take off running or start shaking. There is nothing more pathetic and dejected looking than a wet cat.

After that he walked off to a corner by the closet and the apartment door and went to work licking himself all over. I actually sat next to him while he worked, you know just in case he needed support. LOL!!!

It was actually quite amazing. Cat tongues are the most efficient cleaning and grooming tools I have ever seen. In about half an hour he was dry, clean, soft and shiny and later on he was laid out on our bed, stomach exposed and fast asleep while my husband used the cat brush on him. Jet was loving it. Apparently he doesn’t hold grudges.

I still slept with one eye open that night though.

LOL!

The best way to become beautiful

is to recognize who you are.

So as I mentioned earlier, I’ve been testing out some face primers and just exchanged a concealer that turned out to be too light for me for one that is my perfect brown chocolate shade. More on that later.

I realize that if I’m going to be wearing more make-up more often that I will have to take even better care of my skin, meaning more water, more regular exercise (got in a few days at the gym while off from work) and deeper daily cleansing. As an Essence Box subscriber I received a pack of Dickinsons Witch Hazel towelettes in their July Box. I’ve been experiencing an unexpected cluster of breakouts on the lower right corner of my chin since I started using Raw African Soap. I read that this could be expected in the beginning as the soap draws out impurities but it’s still annoying. I tapped two drops of tea tree on one of the towelette and dabbed my face concentrating on affected areas. It felt so good, so fresh, clean and tightening.

I went to a local Duane-Reade to look for Dickinsons or something like it but they didn’t even have pure Witch Hazel. There’s always some product enhanced by or infused with something natural as opposed to just the pure product itself. And I’m starting to realize that as my girl soulsistah4real says, ACV, Coconut Oil and Shea Butter can be used for everything! LOL!

But seriously folks.

If you strip most skin care products down, the core ingredient was something we could have at one time, grown, picked, juiced, ground, mixed, bottled and applied ourselves, things that heal, feed, cleanse, sooth and condition your skin to act as a healthy, glowing canvas for whatever you chose to decorate it with.

Make-up is ancient! And so is skin care. Not so many years ago, pure Witch Hazel was something you could buy at most any drugstore. And there may still be some but not as many. There’s not as much money to be made if the one shelf in the skin care section only has like six or seven products. Our freedom of choice is just a marketing tool after all. The truth is there really are only a few basic skin products you need.

The rest is just make-up.